At The Bridge
by EK
Summary: -oneshot- Just recently declared the official successor, Tsuna walks alone into the night to find his purpose in life. post-Varia, pre-TYL


I have not much to say, only that they are not mine, and I hope you like this. Thank you for reading.

* * *

He was not sure what made him do it, but he felt like he needed to do it.

Near midnight, he slipped on a light jacket, grabbed his wallet, and started walking. His street was dangerous only when Lambo was awake, anyway. He walked and walked, knowing where he was going, not knowing why. He walked and walked, into the larger main streets, into the intersections. He kept walking.

He followed one of the main roads until it reached a bridge. He followed the sidewalk up to the bridge. He walked and walked, until he reached the center of the bridge.

He looked down at the water, the river flowing under the bridge, moving in a quick current. If he jumped, that water would take him in swiftly and pull him under rapidly.

He watched the water, not thinking of many things, and yet thinking many thoughts.

Mostly about dying will.

His cellular phone rang. He took the call.

"Boss Tenth! Where are you!" he heard the right-hand man's husky voice on the line. "Your mom's worried!"

He did not feel like telling anyone where he was. "I'm at the bridge." He ended the call.

He got another call. The caller ID told him what he needed to know. He did not wait to hear his voice. "Yamamoto. I'm at the bridge," he replied and ended the call as well.

He watched the water below him, and the speeding vehicles zooming near him. Two key ways to end his life at that moment. Quick. Rather painful, but quick. No time for regrets. No time to wonder what might have been.

He climbed up onto the railing, holding on well to the bars sticking out. The midnight breeze blew over his hair and through his jacket.

He heard the sound of rapid footfall, with panting and coughing. "What the hell are you doing, Tenth?" Gokudera screamed above the traffic. "Get down from there!"

"I'm fine, okay!" Tsuna shouted back. He looked back down at the water under the bridge. "I'm fine."

From the same direction came another voice, shouting his name. "He's right, Tsuna," Yamamoto called out as well. "Please come down!"

"I was just...wondering...trying to make it happen again...without anyone's help..." Tsuna said from his perch.

"Talk to us after you come down, Tenth!"

"Please, Tsuna?"

Tsuna sighed and shrugged. It was a scary position, after all, so he understood the concern his friends had. He went back down and sat on the pedestrian walkway, his back leaned on the railing.

"Your mom suddenly called us wondering where you were. Of course I had to call you! And now I find you in the middle of a damn bridge in the middle of the night, OF COURSE I'm worried! You've just been declared official successor and..."

"Gokudera, please shut up," he quietly said.

Gokudera gaped, then clamped his mouth shut.

"Um, yeah. What he said. Exactly. I mean, what Gokudera said, exactly." Yamamoto sat down beside Tsuna as Gokudera took out a lighter and a pack.

"You, too, shut up, please."

Yamamoto closed his mouth and looked at Tsuna through the unpatched eye.

"I'm used to just thinking about myself," he said. "And I didn't ask a lot of myself. Now all this stuff happens...and now I'm officially the next boss. But...but...what if I fail at this? No, I'm bound to fail at this. Fail you, and you, the rest of you guardians, Kyoko, Haru, my mom, my dad, Reborn, and all these people somewhere in Italy where I have never been in my entire life. I'm going to fail all of you, and I'll blame myself for failing you. And that scares me. Because I don't want to fail all of you. I just will."

He stood up again and watched the water, brightened by the bridge lights and the moon.

"I just wanted to remember, I guess, what it felt like. To know my life is ending...thinking of what I would regret not doing. Maybe if I stepped close enough to that...just maybe...I would remember why I said yes to all this madness. Because right now I don't remember. I just know that all of you are looking at me, wanting so hard for me to do well...but you're all looking at someone who will just disappoint you in the end."

He hid his face in his arms, over the railing.

Gokudera puffed out a long stream of smoke. Yamamoto looked up at the night sky.

"I got nothing," Yamamoto said.

Gokudera sucked at the cigarette for a long drag, and remained silent.

Tsuna got up, and climbed up the railing again, before both boys could stop him. He watched the water beneath him, heard the sounds of the traffic behind him, heard the shouts of his friends beside him.

His perch was high, and the river was deep. It was a dizzying view. It made his life pass before his eyes, especially the last exhilarating few months.

"If I died here, I would regret not marrying Kyoko.

"If I died here, I would regret failing a comrade who saw a leader where there wasn't one to see.

"If I died here, I would regret failing a friend who saw only good in me.

"If I died here...I would regret not seeing what I could be...maybe..."

He closed his eyes, threw himself back, and let himself fall, into the arms of his friends. His body hit the ground, and he felt himself rise from it a little bit, before it settled again.

"I have to live. Like I will die. With dying will."

He opened his eyes and looked up at Yamamoto and Gokudera, smiling at him.

"You won't fail us. You'll make mistakes, but you won't ever make me regret being your friend," Yamamoto said.

"You'll learn about the organization. I'll tell you what you need to know," Gokudera said. "You worry about people too much to take them down for no reason. You won't fail us."

"But I might. I will," Tsuna said.

"Even then, we'll believe in you," Yamamoto said, and Gokudera nodded.

"Doesn't make me any less scared."

"Just know that you don't have to carry it alone."

Tsuna took a deep breath and smiled at his friends. "Thanks."

Each boy presented a hand. Tsuna took them and lifted himself from the pavement as the boys held on.

They walked back home together.

"Some ramen at the 7-1l?" Yamamoto offered.

"Sure," Tsuna said.

"They better have chicken..." Gokudera grumbled.


End file.
